What's the difference between a guitarist and a mutual fund?
One matures.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Why did the drummer join the band?
He wanted to hang out with musicians.

How does a guitar player change a light bulb?
He lies on the bed so that the room is spinning around it.

How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughan tune?
Evidently all of them.

How do you make a lead guitarist slow down?
Put some sheet music in front of him.

How do you make him stop?
Put notes on it.

What do you throw a drowning guitarist?
His amplifier.

What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
Pick on someone your own size!

How do you make a drummer's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in his ear.

What's the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
Depends on how far you throw it.

What's the difference between a drummer and a bag of garbage?
The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None...they just steal somebody else's light

What do you say to a drummer in a 3-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise ..."

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?

What's worse than telling jokes about guitarists?
Laughing at 'em.

What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common?
Both suck when you plug them in.

How do you know when the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune?
Neither have I.